If you love #5SmartReads, would you be open to sharing them? You’ll get perks if you do! Set up your unique share link below and share #5SmartReads with anyone you think would enjoy them! Before I dig into a vulnerable life update, I have a few timely items I’d like to share:
I’m not okay right now. One of my parents got a life changing diagnosis that spurred a lot of life changes (purchasing a new home in Bucks County that we can build and design to their needs, shifting my own workload to have more time to care for them). I need to get a hysterectomy this summer to significantly reduce my risk of gynecological cancer (for my medical folks or folks who have faced this before, I have CIN 3 lesions and HPV 16 and a biopsy scheduled for mid-May to determine what kind of hysterectomy and how much will be removed). And while I’m certain in my decision to not have any more children, the removal of the organs that are so intertwined with my identity is something I’m having a hard time with. I have never felt so secure and confident as a mother, having spent a lot more time with the kids over spring break and our caregiver taking some well-earned time off. But I feel totally lost in every other area of my life. I’ve defaulted to my old comfort habits - nightly glasses of wine, staying up too late to watch garbage television (Below Deck: Sailing Yacht is mind-numbingly wonderful), ditching most of my daily rituals that ground me, and scrolling social media and going down Google rabbit holes for hours. The sheer amount of Taco Bell and Domino’s I’ve consumed this week…oof. I’m not okay. And while I have hope that things will rebound, I’m deeply scared they won’t and am playing all the worst case scenarios in a loop in my head, over and over again. I know what I should do and likely need to do - swap the wine for sparkling water, get to bed early, change up my meditation and journaling and workouts to shake me out of autopilot, put my phone down and delete some apps. And I have zero desire to do them - I just want to stay in my hole of comfort for just a little bit longer, even though I know few of these are serving me in any meaningful way. I know you come here to learn what’s happening in the world, book recommendations, and for answers to all the questions (big and small). And they’re all here - just keep scrolling. But I don’t have any wisdom or advice or profound thoughts to share in this week editor’s letter - just this peek at my very messy life right now, and the space I’m making for myself to process it. I will say that putting these words in this newsletter, while slightly scary, is also somewhat freeing. Maybe tomorrow I’ll pick a new meditation and find some peace on that stillness. Maybe I’ll jot down something new I’m grateful for (coffee, Captain Glenn, and my family have been the constants this past week). I WILL swap out a pizza for a sweetgreen order, if only to give Carlos from Domino’s a break (but thank you, C, for the extra ranch in every delivery you made). And with no evening plans all week and having to handle the morning rush solo, I’ll definitely have lights out by 10. I am holding on to a thread of hope that things will be okay and our family will navigate this, and I’m immensely grateful that we have the privilege of having incredible doctors taking care of us, the financial security to afford purchases big and small, and to take care of the people that have taken such good care of me. I’m not okay at this moment. But I have hope that we will be. And for anyone else not okay, I hope you give yourself the permission to carve out space to process it (and to order plenty of pizza and watch whatever you heart desires). What We Read This Week
Top #5SmartReads Of The Week
The rest of the week’s reads (and conversations!) are below: Monday April 24, 2023 Your Questions, Answered What should I think about not being “self-made” if I happened to be raised with privileges? I feel very lucky and grateful for the many privileges I have, and do my best to share them with my team and family. Accept them, acknowledge them, and do your best to pay it forward and share them. Work remote but in-person conference (Nashville in May) what the heck do I wear?? Comfy/cute Lightweight layers are your friend. I would do a pair of Quince ponte pants (LOVE their new wide-legged styles!), a top in whatever style/pattern you love (I’m a fan of Uniqlo’s no-iron button downs or a silk t-shirt), and bring along a blazer or jacket (M.M.LaFleur’s jardigans are great, but a great denim jacket would also work in Nashville). Shoes - I am loving the chunky loafer trend. These Sam Edelman ones have served me well for the past 2 years, and I love Rebecca Allen’s as well! Kid friendly NYC recs for a touristy day in the city? I would then subway downtown and get off at Hudson Yards for a walk down the High Line, and visit Little Island as well. Grab dinner at Chelsea Market (where there’s something for everyone!) You can find all my NYC favorites in the Out Of Office app. Do you think team mascots should be menacing or can they be cute or locally relevant? Favorite spring recipes
Girlfriends weekend in NYC- suggestion for a non fancy rooftop dinner/drinks spot. If you’re already uptown, Drunken Munkey is one of my favorite restaurants in the UES, and Uva is also very lovely and chill. If you cross the park, here are my go-to spots in the UWS: Another plug for Out Of Office - you can find mine and other amazing recommendations from trusted travelers and creators! Any recs for Vancouver in mid-August with a 6 year old?
Do you think employers should know if you have a blog? Or keep it separate? I think blogs are a fantastic way to build a ton of creative skills that translate into nearly any career skills that translate into nearly any career - storytelling, effective communication, time and project management skills. You should be proud of what you’ve built and talk to how it’s benefitted you professionally if you are asked about it. Given how online everyone is today, someone you work with will ask you about it eventually. When it does come up, be ready to share a bit about your workflow and specifically how you keep it separate, and what you’ve learned in running your blog that has helped you at work. Help, in-laws moved to the states months ago and now are needier than newborns. Tips to navigate? If you have the financial means, outsource anything you can (ordering grocery delivery, finding a local aunty who can prepare meals that they’re used to eating, hiring a parti time housekeeper or nurse if your elders have medical needs). Subscribe to every single desi streaming app or channel that exists so they have something to watch. As much as you possibly can, get your partner to be the primary contact for his contact for his parents, particularly if you have a heavier load on the household task. You both need regular check-ins with each other and to touch base about elder caregiving, and reset responsibilities and expectations when needed. This will take a massive toll on you personally (I see it with my own family), so take care of yourself in this process - therapy, time outside of the home to give yourself a break, and time with friends. You can also reach out to me if you ever need to vent about it. Thoughts on Ozempic/Mounjaro? How do I stop parenting when things are so crazy? Hi, can you please share a few of the TV shows your boys are allowed to watch… thanks :) I also love putting on old episode of Reading Rainbow from YouTube (they’re also all on Prime Video). Tax CPA with speciality in life science! Who else should I follow? Love all your other content
Best smorgasbord accounts (they share everything)- Ashley Spivey, Becca Freeman, Esther Ayorinde, Grace Atwood, Mary Orton, Palak Patel, Aparna Shewakramani Lily Herman is one of the greatest humans and a sharer of all the smart things. I love her and she’s the reason I am now a diehard F1 fan and so open about my romance novel addiction. What’s the one thing you’re most excited to experience with your family this summer? Things will be okay. And hopefully this not-so-great phase will be over soon. xo, You’re a weekly subscriber to #5SmartReads. To get the daily newsletter, enter your email here.
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