A quick housekeeping note for my Seattle-based friends! I’ll be in town for two events this week - on Monday evening with Armoire, and Tuesday evening with University of Washington Bookstore. If you feel comfortable to attend in-person events, I hope to see you there! Grief is love. It is a radical perspective on a feeling and state of being that we’ve largely been told we need to endure or push through, rather than learn to live with. And how to grieve with love is what my friend Marisa taught me to do, both in our friendship and in her stellar debut book Grief Is Love. In two years that have been filled with so much loss, I can’t help but think about my own loved ones that I’ve lost pre-pandemic whose absence is palpable in my life. There’s Neela, who’s technically my second cousin but was, in my heart, my little sister. She came into my life when I was 7 like a whirlwind, and we lost her equally quickly at the beginning of 2017. I’ve lost track how many times I’ve had the desire to text her a funny video of the boys or to tell her how amazing A Discovery of Witches was, or that she could have a pile of clothes and shoes and bags that I’ve since outgrown, or just because I wanted to say hi. I still tear up whenever I think of her or write about her. But where sadness and longing used to live, now stand unending and unconditional love for the amazing woman I had and have the pleasure to love and live with and for. These have been a really hard two years, and so many of us have quickly and unexpectedly lost those we thought we had more time with. And if there’s one thing I know, we’re all in different stages of our grief - in processing it, in learning how to live without these people in our lives, and in loving them (in the present tense) even though their physical bodies are no longer with us. Grief is love. And love is grief (in how we fear to lose it). And thanks to Marisa, we can learn to honor both, at the same time. I’m honored to be able to give away a press mailer of Grief Is Love - you can enter here. What I Read This Week
Top #5SmartReads of the Week
The rest of the week’s reads (and conversations!) are below: Your Questions, Answered Best thing you’ve purchased this year for yourself and for your family? For my kids, I got them KiwiCo kits so we have screen-free activities to do together that does not include them trashing our home Gotta say I tried Haldi because of you and I’m in LOVE with everything they recommended! Tell us more about the brows. Research you did, maintenance now, etc. When Brooke Devard recommended Lash Eyeland on her stories, I looked at her profile and work and was really impressed. She did an incredible job and I can’t recommend her more highly! How on earth did you find a nanny in NYC? Fave way to de-puff your face? The Skinny Confidential’s ice roller. It’s powerhouse and helps me depute my face, has helped me reduce the itchiness of my mircrobladed eyebrows, and has even helped me with my migraines (I roll it all over my forehead when I fell it coming on and follow it up with massaging Equilibria Relief Cream on my temples!) Stretch marks… do you have any treatment suggestions? I have stretch marks (lots of people do), and mine don’t bother me. That said, I fixated on my non-existent eyebrows enough to get them microbladed and have researched nonsurgical rhinoplasty more than I am proud to admit. So do whatever makes you feel happy, and if that means getting treatments to minimize your stretch marks (which are often hereditary and out of your control), do you boo! Also! How did you start the process of getting your first book published? So signing a contract (which the incredible Kim Perel negotiated and handled) was the first step. On the writing front, Kim taught me how to write a book- establishing a clear vice, mixing stories and advice, and actually getting my head down and writing against the deadline. She has an amazing book proposal workshop that I highly recommend if you’re thinking about writing a nonfiction book! Any recs for a great purse/bag? Can’t seem to find the right now. Thanks I love this Naghedi bag-it’s so roomy, can fit all your stuff and your kids’ stuff too, easy to clean, love the crossbody strap, and this dark green is so pretty! Ways to met new people during these times? I’m doing an event with Jane Green at The Wing on May 4th that you should come to and meet some amazing women. Reads/thoughts on starting a new job while pregnant? Want both this year but nervous! You will see very quickly if your new company walks the walk when it comes to parental leave and how they support parents. Ask your coworkers to introduce you to people at the company who took parental leave and what they wish they knew/did/regret doing, clearly understand who is backfilling your role and a plan to smoothly transition the work to them and when. I’m so excited for you! Have a wonderful week, my friend! xo,
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