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| In the British dramedy Fleabag, the main character played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and her high-strung, successful older sister, Claire, have a complicated relationship. As sibling archetypes go, it’s clear that Claire is the “responsible one,” with her career in finance and posh townhouse.
Waller-Bridge’s character (never named in the series), a cafe owner, who is haunted by the death of her best friend, steals from her family, and has casual relationships with awful men – is the “screw up.”
But while we see the story through the younger sister’s eyes, it turns out Claire sees things differently. In one memorable scene, Claire blows up at her sister, seemingly because she feels less interesting by comparison. “You’re fine! You’ll always be fine, you’ll always be interesting with your quirky cafe and your dead best friend. You just make me feel like I failed,” Claire snaps.
Reflecting back, these fictional sisters sound like perfect candidates for sibling therapy.
One survey of hundreds of adult sibs found that sibling relationships are characterized by a mixture of affection, ambivalence and ambiguity. And as researchers are learning more about the emotional influence of siblings on our long-term development, NPR’s Carrie Feibel reports that some therapists are treating more siblings seeking professional help, as adults, with ongoing conflicts or resentments.
In childhood, sibling interactions can be fundamental to shaping who we are, says Karen Gail Lewis, author of the new book Sibling Therapy: The Ghosts from Childhood that Haunt Your Clients' Love and Work. "In those early years, you either learn — or you don't learn — to argue and resolve. To use your power more effectively or not. To resolve fights, to tattle," Lewis says.
Brett, age 52, who saw Lewis with his younger sister Mandie, says the therapy sessions helped him see how events and dynamics from childhood factored into a recent rift between the siblings. "The fact that you had to go back to things [from] when you were six, seven, eight, nine years old, to get to things you're dealing with in your forties and fifties, it's pretty surprising that there's a connection. But there was," Brett says.
Sisters Mel and Liz said their tensions were rooted in “crystallized roles” that they learned to re-negotiate as they got older and family dynamics changed. "There were things that we just assumed about each other," Liz says. "We would say, 'Oh, well, Mellie's this way and she's always this way. Or, I'm this way and I'm always this way.' And we had just said it for so long, that we almost wouldn't allow ourselves to grow and admit more complicated feelings."
Learn more about how sibling therapy can help improve one of the longest relationships in our lives.
This story is part of NPR’s special series “The Science of Siblings.” Check out the full series here.
Plus: How two good friends became sworn siblings — with the revival of an ancient ritual |
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A lot of women take the hormone estrogen for granted for the first several decades of their lives. Until, usually some time in their 40s, their bodies start producing less of it and they start experiencing menopausal symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. (I.e., you don’t know what you got ‘till it’s…going.)
Now if you’ve repeatedly woken up at 3am in a puddle of your own sweat, or lingered in front of an open freezer wishing you could feel normal, you probably wondered if you could get some estrogen back in your system to mitigate these crazy-making symptoms.
Until about 20 years ago, doctors regularly prescribed replacement hormones. But then a 2002 report showed that women taking a combined estrogen and progestin pill called Prempro had higher risks of breast cancer and stroke, many prescribers shied away from prescribing hormone therapy for menopause.
There was some good news on the menopause beat this week, as NPR’s Allison Aubrey reports. Researchers from the long running study called the Women’s Health Initiative – which issued the scary 2002 report – came back with a new report re-examining some of the old findings, and announcing that hormone replacement actually carries a low risk and is safe for treating hot flashes, night sweats, and other menopausal symptoms in women under 60.
The type of horse progesterone used in Prempro, which may have been linked to an increase in breast cancer in the 2002 cohort, is no longer in use. Safer hormone therapies are available, and researchers know more about the age range in which hormone replacement is effective.
Here's how hormone replacement may offer relief with lower risk.
Plus: Mammograms should start at age 40, new guidelines recommend |
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We hope you enjoyed these stories. Find more of NPR's health journalism online.
All our best,
Andrea Muraskin and your NPR Health editors |
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